13th September 2016

Have Been listening to some very good songs - nice & romantic since the morning. Everyone was asking me - Nidhi what has happened to you - is there something special today or is that something new has happened in your life.

I had no answer - I was just smiling - noone knows what is going inside me..I was just trying to make my self feel happy and assuming that someone is singing those songs for me. 

For some time I was feeling good and special... I was just smiling to myself as if everything was a reality and I was assuming that you know he will give me a surprise as soon as i step out from the office.. Whole day waiting for that 1 call with those magical words which makes u take life so easy. 

Then i started feeling alone a little more lonely and then aloofed.  I don't know why that was happening to me.. And then i closed all songs and came back to reality.. The real life.. As i am going home i am feeling bad and alone.. I was searching who could i talk to.. Who would be that someone who may have some time to share my loneliness by just talking to me for a while. You know what i searched and there were none.  Probably this is what life gives you.. No1 to share but i wonder why me or some more people like me.. Its bad its the worst feeling ny1 could feel. 

It was a hoax some1 dis message but i think dont want to talk.. So i am back to you again. 

Its been a long time since i last came to you or wrote to you.. But i know you will understand. 

The day has almost passed.. And since i am too sleepy the night will pass too.. Let's see what happens tomorrow.. Probably another day of a different mood swing.. I may be in.. But a fake smile is always on.. So that no1s comes to know a out me 

12th September 2016

And its my birthday week again... Another lonely day full of sadness.. Oh how i wish every year that there is something special on my birthday.. My some1 special gives me pleasant surprises by showing up at midnight with my birthday cake... We go out together for a nice walk or a long long drive...

He sings for me and make me feel special and makes me feel wanted...some1 who makes me feel that yes we are made for each other and i enjoy that perfect birthday atleast once in my life.. Every dam year i feel that yes next year sm1 would celebrate my day.. For me with me along with me...  Ut alas another boring day.. It is a Sunday which means a whole day at home doing nothing... Yesterday i wanted to cry for being alone once again...i wish there was sm1 for me.. Sm1... I long for those suprises... I just want my someone to make me feel special and just give me his time.. I want no expensive gifts.. Just him and me and we spending time in each others arms.. Holding hands.. Talking to each other.. I want that peace and comfort that i would feel when i m with him... That safety that i would feel in his arms...i want to feel wanted.. I want to feel that my existences really matters for him.. I wish someone somehow somewhere is thinking about me the same way i am thinking abort him.. Som1 is equally eager to meet me and spend time with me.. Som1 who knows what is to be lonely and who comes and make me feel complete.

I see people holding hands those special selfies... That blush.. And i start feeling bad and jealous.. I wish this year atleast it becomes true.. But i k w the fact is that i wi end up spending time alone.. I cant share my feelings with every1 but i can share them with you.. Atleast u r the only person in my life who understands me... Right now and are there with me forever.. U who will never leave me alone...

Pls help me and request god to send me my special one very very soon in my life and please dont make me alone this year on my bday.. Pls dont let me cry this year....please..